As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a mom. I wanted all of it, the pregnancy, sleepless nights, crying, laughing, cuddles, diapers, all of it.
It took what felt like forever to find a man worthy of fathering my children, but when I did, it moved fast, I got the ring and I had it all.
The one thing in my happily ever after I didn’t anticipate was that I would be the stepmother. I always thought I would be the princess in my fairytale, but my prince already had a princess, and she fit the role perfectly.
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She was his little girl – beautiful, intelligent, and held his heart in the palm of her hand.
Her brother was equally loveable, he was witty, adorable, and had the most endearing soul.
My perfect man had already lived my dream, which forced me to redraw my perfect picture. I had to erase the idea of going through pregnancy, childbirth, and raising children for the first time together.
I had to add characters to the storyline, the woman my man had experienced all these huge firsts with, the kids who would always be put before me, and a family dynamic that would become far more complicated than I had always imagined.
Admittedly it hasn’t been seamless, but I never questioned it. I loved being a stepmom, but I was dying to see if being a “real mom” is as different as I’ve been told.
The anticipation of waiting on those lines was killing me.
Could I be?! I had never hoped for something so much in my life.
“You need to look at it on this angle… Get out of the light!” I said excitedly to my guy praying he could see the second line and it wasn’t all in my head. He has far more patience than I do and advised maybe we try another in the morning. Although giving me enough hope to keep me from sleeping much.
It wasn’t until the early hours the next day that we could officially confirm it, but we were expecting! This was one of the best moments of my life, I was walking on air.
Although things didn’t look exactly like I had thought it would, the reality of my life was so much better than I could have ever dreamed it to be. I had completely fallen in love with the most amazing man, his incredible children, and the tiny peanut inside of me.
Was dating a parent ever an option before it became reality?
Sometimes our plans for the future are only a part of the dream. It’s learning to adapt and see the beauty of the differences that make our lives complete.
Did you find it was tough grieving the life you thought you’d have?