Pregnancy is so scary!! So many thoughts racing through my mind:
Will the baby be healthy?
Happy?
Will they sleep?
Will I be a good parent?
Ugh, the list goes on and on…
Pregnancy in a blended family, that presents a whole new set of worries.
I had so many concerns as we neared the due date, but I’ll spare you and only name my top 3 worries.
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1. Will the kids be jealous?
I spent a lot of time thinking about all of the reasons the big kids could resent the baby:
- Losing attention
- Seeing all the toys he’s acquired
- The constant year-round time he gets with their dad
Although my stepson occasionally gets frustrated that his sister, who has only had eyes for him his entire life, is very focused on the adorable baby, things have mostly run very smoothly.
2. Will the baby become attached and be sad to see the kids leave?
This one continues to haunt me.
When the kids arrived his first year, the baby reached for them one by one, rubbing his head into theirs… closed eyes and a wide smile. It was enough to bring me to tears, he is typically not a very affectionate guy. As with all stepfamily life, we have evolved, but we’ll get into that in a later post.
3. Will bio mom attempt to put a wedge between “her kids” and “ours”?
We did our best throughout the pregnancy to involve the kids, hoping for them to feel connected to their little brother. We do not want them to feel like they are only “half” related and I hope their mom will resist the urge to highlight the exact biology.
My heart has known the love of being a mom long before I physically gave birth and I want my stepkids to never doubt that.
Ongoing Reflections…
I continue to learn so much as the years go by and our family dynamic changes, but one thing is for sure, you can never predict how anything will turn out.
All I can do is try to watch for the quiet signs that someone needs me, try to understand the why’s of the behavior, and most of all, not let anyone touch us from the outside.
There is no road map to this life and we are all trying to navigate the best we can!
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
What were/are your concerns with a new addition?
How was your vision vs reality?
Leave your comments below!