I completely agree that my husband should pay child support. He is responsible for the wellbeing of his kids and there is a financial obligation, that is not a question.
What I struggle with is the complete lack of control. My husband makes substantially more money than the kid’s mom, which means he is responsible for 80 percent of Section 7 expenses.
The child support is based on the support calculator and factors in the cost of access, I have zero complaints about that.
Join our email list and you will receive a free download of my book A Stepmom’s Guide to Figuring Out Her Role In a Blended Family.
My Frustration With This
My husband worked his tail off going to post-secondary to complete his degree while working full time to support his family and sacrificing what little time he had to sleep to spend time with the kids when they were babies. He did not get to where he is by chance.
The kid’s mom has not worked in years as far as I know. I’m sure she has her reasons, but I am not privy to those details.
Because of the drastic contrast in income, my husband is on the hook. The problem is, their mom has sole custody. What that has resulted in is that the decision-making is up to her and the bill-paying is on him. He does not get to have a discussion about the best options available for certain matters, however, is expected to transfer funding.
The latest reason for my stress on this matter is a phone call we had with the kids last night. My stepdaughter advised us they had been to the dentist and that she needs braces. My stepson also needs braces, a fact we were made aware of last year and it was a conversation that did not go smoothly. The pandemic pushed the issue for the time being, but I’m sure my husband will be receiving the dollar amount in the near future.
I know the system is in place for a reason and it’s impossible to create something that is flawless, especially with how unique each scenario is.
3 Things I Really Think Needs to be Altered About Child Support
- If the goal is truly to create less change in lifestyle between homes, both parents should be responsible to work towards that. The current system only places accountability on the parent paying support.
- If there is a Section 7 expense that is required, each parent should have a hand in deciding what is the best route. I find it completely unbalanced that someone’s ex can have complete control over how to spend their money. Relationships that have not ended well don’t typically result in two people who are considerate of the other’s situation.
- There needs to be more push to give dad’s the same courtesy that moms receive. Our experience left me feeling that no matter what we said, the court believed the kids were better with their mom, strictly because of her title.
Money can be a stressful subject in any family, but when your husband’s ex holds so much power over your finances, it takes it to another level. Please leave a comment below to continue the conversation!