Worrying is a huge part of parenting, and stepparenting is no exception. When it comes to my stepkids, there are so many things that I spend my energy stressing over. Are they happy? I am constantly in fear of the unknown.
Are they thriving at their mom’s? Will they miss biomom when they come to us? Will they make it through their teen years without any serious issues? Is there going to come a day that they want to move in with us full-time?
The list goes on and on. The day-to-day stress that I find myself struggling with the most is the unknown. What really happens in their lives when they are not here? What have they been exposed to, or told, when it comes to the separation, court, or disagreements between their parents? Are they being encouraged to stop coming here when they are old enough to decide? Will they?
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Biomom decides how to spend the money, but it’ll be coming from dad’s bank account
Most recently my worry is that my stepdaughter’s braces will be on her teeth before we have any information about what’s happening. The one thing I know for sure is that the brunt of the cost will be on us, meanwhile, the final decision is essentially up to their mom. This is one of my many issues with how the court system works with parenting plans. Anyway, we know she’s been to the orthodontist, we know they recommended Invisalign, we know all of this because our daughter told us.
After not hearing from their mom at all on the subject for weeks now, my husband sent her a message to try to get some information. We are currently waiting to hear back, but I’m hopeful this will not turn into some huge debate.
Being a stepmom can so often feel like planning for a disaster that has yet to happen
It can be so stressful in high conflict situations not knowing when the other shoe will drop. It’s been quiet for a while now, which has been really nice, yet I can’t shake the feeling that it won’t be this way forever.
For now, I’ll hold my breath and hope that we can get through this with minimal conflict and at least be allowed the opportunity to research some costs before being handed the bill.
Do you fear the unknown? If you’ve been through anything similar, I’d love to hear about it! Comment below!